Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
