Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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