1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize