just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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