i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
