Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
