I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
