He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize