We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
