I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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