i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I DEMAND FORESKIN
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
