I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
