I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
