I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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