C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
