what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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