from now on my penis is your penis
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
