I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
