have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In America we eat man semen.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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