So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
