Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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