So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
