Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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