i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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