The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
