The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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