So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
