and i looked up. we had an audience...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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