gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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