We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
