Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
