Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
