your thong is hanging out like whoa
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize