And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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