one might say we're banned from that church
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
