do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
