They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
