fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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