do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize