The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
