I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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