Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize