i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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