YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
