I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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