He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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