Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
