FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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