1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize