Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
