So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
