When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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