How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
