butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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