he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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