Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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